Mathew James Walker. 17th July 1993 - 2nd February 2009Today would have been my nephew Mathew's sixteenth birthday. We lost him earlier this year, a few hours after the photo above was taken, after a fall at the Level's raceway near Timaru.
Matt was a wonderful kid. He knew what he wanted from his life and he embraced it for all he was worth. He fit an awful lot of living into those fifteen years. He was a keen writer and part of the reason I started to pursue writing seriously again. Life is too short and you never know how long you'll have it. You can't afford to delay your dreams. Matt didn't, the photo above was taken when he got to live one of those dreams, getting to ride along in a race car doing a hot lap ... whatever that is. He sure looks pleased about it anyway.
Matt was an organ donor and I'd like to encourage anyone reading this to think about that for yourself too. I'm sure when Matt told his Mum that he wanted his organs to be donated if it ever came to that, he never thought that it really would. But it did, and because his family had discussed it after watching a movie together, it spared them the pain of trying to guess what he would have wanted. I'm so proud of him and I miss him very much.
I don't drop to my knee's in the middle of the supermarket anymore, because the song they're playing was the one we played at his funeral. But I think of him every single day, many times every day and I cry. I'm crying today. Alot.
I wrote Matty a poem. It's not as beautiful as the one his Mum wrote for him just after he died. And it probably won't make sense to anyone but me, but here it is, none the less. Happy Birthday Mattie.
Mathew.
We watched the Dolphins he and I
As the sun rose and brightened his hair
Against the pillow.
I held his hand and said goodbye since
We would never be alone again after
This moment.
He was already gone but I hope he was
Somewhere, watching God's fingers
Caress the ocean as the Dolphins
Took flight
And danced just for him
And me, who loved him too.